Fairy Tales

Know what, I was thinking... And what was the actual chance that in Snow White the two most beautiful women in the world would be the stepmother and the stepdaughter? The mirror could easily have said “you are beautiful, no doubt, but the most beautiful woman lives in Congo and by the time your hunter gets there and finds her you will be an old hag and you definitely won’t be among the first.” And just as I started pondering this, a bunch of questions about various fairy tales popped up for me in general. For example, Morozko. It seems like an ordinary tale about being modest and polite. But in reality Nastya would have died. She sits in the forest in winter, freezes. An old man walks by. He asks if she’s warm. OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO SAY NO! What are the odds that you’ll meet Morozko in the forest?! It’s more likely to be a lumberjack grandpa from the neighboring village! Or suppose this is a world where magical stuff is everyday. Then Marfusha’s mother is a complete fool, because if you have a Morozko roaming the woods who kills everyone who says he’s cold (in the original tale he froze Marfusha to death), you should, damn it, warn your daughter about it! Thumbelina. Why did he go back to the parents who took him and his brothers to the forest several times?! Well, okay, suppose they’re poor. But that’s no excuse! They could have taken them to any village, where the orphaned young men would have been placed somewhere! No, they had to bring them to the forest to a certain death. And swapping daughters with a cannibal’s daughters is just some kind of sadism. If they could swap, they could simply run away. And imagine it from the cannibal’s daughter’s perspective. You wake up at night and see your father killing your sisters. You can’t run, you can’t stop, and you realize you’ll die in a few minutes at the hands of your own father. Cinderella. Why the hell did the prince dance with her but not remember her face?! Some weird infatuation where you can’t remember anything about your beloved. Fine, suppose he has a disease that makes him unable to recognize faces. THEN HE CANNOT BE A PRINCE. A groom will come to him and say “our horses are weak,” and he’ll mistake him for a foreigner’s gender, decide it’s an insult and start a war. And also, Cinderella’s stepsisters, damn, cut off their finger and heel! This bastard just took them back, like “oops, sorry, took the wrong one.” What “back”? They need a doctor! Or back to Snow White. In the original she didn’t get poisoned by the apple, she choked! When the prince’s servants were carrying the coffin, they dropped it and the apple flew out! But in the end she executed the stepmother. How did she know the apple was poisoned if the poison never entered her body! She didn’t even have a headache! Like “I can’t eat, but you gave me food, so die”?! Or okay, take the Disney version. The prince was walking in the forest, saw a teenager’s corpse (she’s like 14 for a minute) and decided to kiss it?! That’s pedophilia and necrophilia! Fine, suppose, but why did he marry her?! Like if he loves corpses and she’s not a corpse, he won’t be happy with her. In short, I’m confused.

Haha, hilarious

I watched Star Wars with roughly the same emotions.

And that bombs are being dropped down in SPACE )

And are explosions in a vacuum HEARD?

And that an ordinary black man wounded a Sith with a laser sword?

This is an annihilator channel))

And how do you tell an ordinary black person from an unusual one?

Frosty... An attempt to get rid of Marfusha... Cleanly, with no witnesses. It didn’t work; Marfusha turned out to be proud and stupid, which saved her life.