[моё] Reply to comment for Olga-Nevskaya

So I think today we live in an era of “liberation from the intrusive idea of super-values.”

That is, for a person as an individual, the idea of a super-value of a certain way of life has always dominated. Whether it is according to: faith, dogmas, or as an eternal resistance to the traps of poverty and time.

 The very thought of how unhealthy the situation is when you save for an apartment for decades (or take a loan), then you spend several decades doing renovations (or also paying the loan), then with that renovation, even if it is unsuccessful or the children have outgrown the big house – and you have cut all your veins on its furnishing, not ready to let go, now there is a segment of people for whom relationships risk becoming something similar. Too complicated and artificially elevated to a super-value. 

That is: you, your person and they – relationships.

When your resources, including time and health, are not enough for yourself, spending them on another is sheer selfishness, because it’s a living person, not furniture to be convenient. Yes, you learn a lot about yourself next to another person, but who said that is the only truth? And who said you have to be with those who are uninteresting or unnecessary to you? Struggling for reproduction or personal effort to be needed?

The joy of adult connections is conversations without a stance of superiority, a feeling of support,  even if they understand that you are not wrong but will accept the existence of another opinion – that does not mean you shouldn’t concede or that you must argue – that’s something else.

About: the right is to have an opinion and the right is to keep an opinion in mind.
A new super-value is personal comfort in relationships with another person, and that already calmly permits solitary existence, because neurotically obsessing over where that suitable (something) lies is more costly to oneself, as we risk falling into the trap of the super-value of seeking the ideal partner and a better version of oneself. And the best is the enemy of the good. 

I am not saying this is like the sexual revolution that removed the stigma from the erotic life of society, but it is what explained: being yourself stopped being shameful or terrible, because the neurochest will always be more symmetrical, some Asian has already done everything better than you, and in the list of the richest people in Russia are those who pay their employees humiliating sums, disproportionate to a real valuable life.

And yes, a second half exists only for the brain and the ass (you can’t convince me otherwise).

I don’t bite pieces, I prefer whole people. 

But people may prefer casual connections, relationships without communication, someone from their family – mother/father – or only to be heard, or for them the main thing is some super-value that can ruin or change my life for the worse. 

This time has its own pace, you can see every moment, you can dive into the chase. Someone may be nearby watching the lights of the night city or waiting for coffee in a café in the morning – that’s just statistics and if it doesn’t happen, it’s not anyone’s malicious will or fault. Only the person himself labels himself a loser and a defeated one, whereas a person living in society has both a role and connections, but he cannot escape the strict judge who constantly evaluates the quality of the personality living in the body and the strength of its connection to reality. 

But you are alone. Those who are with you – outside.

Again, this is my personal reflection and perception as of today. And to some extent – it is just a fragment of what I can think about.